Thursday, 26 May 2016

The Single Diaries: Date Yourself

A few years ago, I really wanted to be in a relationship. It's kinda funny to think about it now because I'm still single and being in a romantic relationship is not my priority although it would be lovely to be in one.

Thinking about it, I guess I just wanted to feel loved and for some reason, I guess I thought having a boyfriend would give me that.

The thing is, though, what good is it for another human to love me if I don't love myself too? What good is it for someone to try to get to know me if I don't already know myself? What good is it to yearn for the feeling of being loved whilst ignoring the fact the Someone already loves me?

Date yourself.

Dating yourself is a fun experience. It enables you to grow and learn more about yourself which is very important in living a healthy life and just might increase the chances of you ending up in a healthy relationship in future as you won't need to rely on someone's presence at all times to be happy.

Dating yourself does not mean that you have to go on a date fast. It means that when you are not in a romantic relationship, you learn more about yourself, the things you like and you learn to be happy whilst not being romantically attached to someone.

Here are ways I have dated myself and ways you can do so too:

1. Dress Up
Dress to the nines whenever you feel like it, even if you are not leaving your house.
I feel amazing when I get my hair done, wear a nice outfit and heels and head out 'just because' or try on a bunch of dresses in my room and admire myself in each of the dresses (and take pictures, of course!)

2. Go to events you're interested in alone
It's nice to go to events with friends or with a special someone. However, I'm not afraid of going alone. Going to events alone, you are free to do whatever you want and stay however long you want to. You are not distracted by anyone so you can just enjoy the moment.
Going for a walk on the park alone is also relaxing and therapeutic.

3. Make fancy meals an almost-daily thing instead of just on special occasions
Why wait to go out with someone to have a nice meal? I love to cook and presentation has become a rather important thing for me. I love making different dishes (from different cultures), plating them beautifully (taking pictures of them, of course) and enjoying a nice meal in the kitchen or in my room while watching a series (or the rare movie).

4. Buy yourself thingsOn Valentine's Day, a friend of mine uploaded a picture of a beautiful bouquet with the caption, "It's okay to buy yourself flowers." That is so true.
Buy gifts for yourself. It's actually fun to pick them out and finally treat yourself to something nice(r).

5. Find what makes you happyExplore, do new things and do things you already enjoy. That way, you won't always need another's presence to be happy and you will know what your likes and dislikes are (while having a grand ol' time).

6. Compliment yourselfIt sounds a bit vain, but complimenting yourself and giving yourself positive affirmations leads to a higher self esteem and you not craving attention or complements from others in order to feel good about yourself.
Leave notes around for yourself or just look in the mirror at least once a day and compliment yourself on how you look, what you have accomplished or, like me, just see your reflection and say, "hello, beautiful!" Haha!

7. Realise that you are lovedThis has been the most powerful thing for me. I have realised not just that I am loved without cause by people, but also that I am loved, despite all my flaws, by the one I love, by the one who loves - God. It is amazing to realise that! And it's even more amazing to realise the little ways He has shown you that He loves you.
Realising that you are loved and that despite not seeing anyone around, you are not alone is beautiful.
If you want to talk to someone and you don't know who to talk to, He's there, listening to every word you say and loving you unconditionally.

Let me know what you think about this and your experiences.

Remember, if you would like to be featured in this series or there's anyone you would like me to contact for a feature or collaboration, feel free to contact me through the information on the blog or via a comment below.

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