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The Single Diaries: Don't Settle

"Don't settle for anybody, just so you can have somebody. Be patient." ~ Anonymous

Don't settle just because you're lonely.

Don't settle just because people are pressuring you to get married.

This is the moment when you can be selfish with your decision and when you can base your present decision on your future situation.

Don't settle for the boy/girl who makes you feel special just by complementing your body whilst ignoring who you are.

Don't settle for the boy/girl who everyone wants just so you have a trophy. Don't settle for the boy/girl who doesn't appreciate you, but instead, disrespects you through his/her words or actions.

Settling can lead to an unhappy future, a future without love. Why settle for someone and deprive both you and that person of the love and happiness they deserve?

"Know your worth. Know the difference between what you're getting and what you deserve." 

~ Anonymous

"Know your worth and then add VAT" ~ Kaldy

Thinking Out Loud/Open Letter: #PrayForOrlando Controversy

Why are people getting upset because Christians are sharing the hashtag, 'PrayForOrlando?' It is ridiculous.

I read through the comments section of pastors, Christian public speakers and churches after they uploaded messages asking people to join in and pray for Orlando. Whilst going through them, I couldn't help, but notice that some people said things along the lines of, "why should we pray for sinners and their families?" "why should we be praying for gay people?" "they brought it on themselves," et cetera. Before I start the next paragraph, I will quote John 8:7, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Why should there be a debate concerning whether we should pray for those who unjustly lost their lives and the families who lost loved ones? Why have we created a holier-than-thou image of ourselves in our minds? Why do we think that we are so perfect, that only people like us need prayers and that because someone is different, they are any less of a human?

I am going to stop asking questions now.

1 Timothy 2:1 says, "I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them."

Mark 12:31 says, "Love others as well as you love yourself."

1 Corinthians 13:5-6 says, "[Love] ....Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel"

Luke 6:31-34 says, “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behaviour: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that."

So, how do we think that it is right for us to believe that people aren't being true to their faith and beliefs because they choose to pray for those who lost their loved ones? 

(Sorry, I had to ask that question)

None of us have been Christians from the day of our birth! We could have been born into a Christian family, but just because my parents are friends with someone does not mean I have the same relationship they have with that person. Being born into a Christian family does not equate to having a relationship with Jesus. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. None of us are better than those who died or those who lost loved ones. There is no reason for us to feel that it makes anyone less of a follower of Christ because they choose to pray for others.

How can we use the Bible to condemn people of their sins when we are sinning in the process of judging and condemning them?

What do we lose by refusing to pray for others?

(These questions have to be asked)

Christ did not come for the righteous, but for the sinners!!

Oh my gosh! If we are supposed to strive to live like Christ or follow WWJD ("What Would Jesus Do?" why is it so hard for us to unconditionally love others and pray for them?

I'm done with this.

I am going to keep on praying for the families of those who lost their lives in the Orlando mass shooting. I am going to continue praying for the Grimmie family. I am going to continue praying for anyone who needs prayer! Black, white, Christian, Muslim, Bhuddist, Gay, Straight, I do not care. I will keep on praying for anyone who needs prayer!

When my best friend died, I wouldn't say I had much of a relationship with God. However, people kept praying for me, people kept showing me that they cared and that they loved me. Look where I am now! What if those people just ignored my circumstance because they had a "better" relationship with Christ than I did. What if people told me that I brought it on myself?! Honestly, if people did that, I would probably be dead right now.

We need to pray for Orlando.

I urge you to pray for Orlando.

If you still choose to live your life and ignore what those families are going through, go ahead, I can not force you to do anything you do not want to, but I can ask that you do not try to use Christianity or the Bible to justify a reason for us not to care about the lives of others.

#PrayForOrlando

The Single Diaries: Featured Entry - Lemonade, Tiwa Savage and My Dating Life Update by SimSpirituallyInspired

Yes, I’m still on my 366-day boy fast/cleanse – whatever you wanna call it. Tiwa Savage (A Nigerian singer, for those who don’t know) just spilled all the beans about her horrific 2 year marriage to TeeBillz.
And Bey spiced up the whole atmosphere with extra sour Lemonade (her new visual album, get on it).

Wow, all in one week.

I guess I could go first and start with me:

I’m 3 and a half months into this fast, and life couldn’t be any better (check out “I Don’t Date”).

I’ve met some really really cool guys. Temptation is real out here, however, I’ve promised to close my eyes and look the other way for at least a year.

I’ve gotten a lot stronger and experienced a lot of personal growth, however, I still have a lot of work to do. The King of Kings, my Father, our God, is still working on me. I still need to work on my relationship with Jesus. I still need to focus on myself more. It’s tough, but it’s worth it..
Especially with the tea Tiwa just spilled all over our keyboards.

Tiwa & Tunji:
Their story didn’t startle me at all. Click here to hear her story
Many were so shocked and confused, but I felt a very odd closeness to her story. Whether through my personal experience or the experiences of those around me. I guess, as a Nigerian, it’s a fairly common narrative. It’s just that no one talks about it. Thank you Tiwa, for speaking up.

I sat and watched the whole thing like “word”, this is why the wait is worth it.

Don’t go rushing into relationships.

Don’t entertain the foolishness now or else you might get hooked to it.

Run from everyyy appearance of shady boys (and girls).

Don’t wait two years.

Don’t hurt yourself.

Ha, my transitions are popping right now.

The Single Diaries: From the Outside Looking In (Learning From Couples)

There is something educational about being on the outside looking in - couples become your teachers without even knowing it.

What made a relationship not work out?

You have case studies almost everywhere. Was the guy controlling? Was the girl rude? Were they just settling for each other? Did they lack trust in the relationship? You can learn from their mistakes in order to avoid making those mistakes, yourself.

For example, if you happened to hear about why Tiwa Savage's marriage ended, you can learn from her mistakes. If you happened to hear about Beyoncé and Jay-Z's marital problems, you can learn from their mistakes. If you heard about Israel Houghton's divorce, you can learn from the mistakes made whilst he was married.

You don't have to stick to married couples. Look at the couples around you, young or old. What makes their relationships work and what makes them fail?

Think about that.

Learn from that.

Use it to your advantage.

Thinking Out Loud: Hate Mail

Hate mail, hate messages, we've seen them all before. Usually they are directed to others, but some times, they are directed to us.

Today, I have received quite a bit of....disrespectful messages concerning my comment on a YouTube video, "your English accents are awful! I love it! Haha!" In that video, someone had asked the vloggers to put on an English accent and I, having an English accent and living in England found it quite funny because no one here sounds like the accent they were putting on and they were mixing up Australian phrases with English ones which was also rather funny. Do you see anything wrong with my comment?

Let's highlight a particular word in my comment, "your." This word means that I am directing my comment to a particular person/people. However, people, who were not the people my comment was directed at were replying in unasked for ways.

Yesterday, I watched a video where a guy was reacting to a girl's video where she was apologising to him because she made a funny video saying she was dating him. It was like the DaveDays and Miley Cyrus thing (you know, with Dave acting like he's in love with Miley and dating her only that his Miley is a cut out picture of the actual Miley?). The guy had seen her initial video and found it funny and actually commented on it, but his fans saw the video and started sending the girl hate messages. They told her to drink bleach, go kill herself, et cetera. Little did they know that this has been girl battling with depression for over a decade. In her apology video, she was in front of the camera with her friend, she apologised to the guy she made the video of and she and her friend talked about how the comments affected her and opened up about her depression and how she had been trying to use YouTube to help her with that (if you don't understand what I mean, look up iiSuperwomanii, YouTube helped her in that way). When the guy watched her apology video whilst recording his reactions, he was shocked that people sent her such comments and didn't care if they knew/didn't know about her situation because hate speech is just wrong!

If you know me personally, you would know that I am someone who doesn't get offended easily neither do I get annoyed or angry easily. However, I was eating when I got another disrespectful message today and I felt my appetite go away. The first set of messages arrived at midnight and then the next arrived at around 3am (and a few more after that), but I didn't let it bother me. These messages are coming from different people. They accused me of things I never said, made assumptions and were just downright disrespectful and making uncalled for remarks. I'm still not letting if get to me, but I am thinking about it because I am wondering when it ever became okay for people to make hate speech about or towards others.

What do you gain by telling someone to drink bleach?

What do you gain by telling someone to kill themselves?

What do you gain by putting others down?

If you disagree with someone, let it be that - a disagreement. Don't let it become a war.

We don't agree with everything everyone says. Let's face that. There are comments I have seen on YouTube and other social media that I don't agree with, but that doesn't mean I should send hate speech to someone. Where is the love?

As some of you know, I'm a vegetarian (but I am usually mistaken for a vegan because 99% of the time, I eat vegan foods). Us plant-based eaters have a stereotype over our heads that we are hateful and force our beliefs on others (although I became a vegetarian due to not liking the taste of meat and not because of the animals). Lately, I have realised that I would actually prefer for animals to be treated better as I love them (domestic and wild animals) and won't want them to be in harms way.

A few months ago, a friend of mine shared a picture on Facebook that said, "will you step on this puppy for 18 million dollars?" above a picture of a cute little puppy. My friend commented on it with, "I'd cripwalk all over it bruhhh." Being the plant-based person I am, I would have been expected to get so angry and send him threats, loads of hate speech, videos of dying animals, et cetera, (especially because I watched my puppy die) but I didn't. We had a nice, polite conversation about it and then left it at that. Did anyone gain anything from it? Yes. Did anyone lose anything from it? No.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is to just show love and compassion to one another. Stop hating each other and sending awful, awful messages to others. You do not know everyone's backstory. You do not know what people are going through personally and you have an even slimmer chance of knowing that over the internet.

Be kind to one another.

I'm okay. I reported some of the messages I received, but let's face it, some people don't report these messages, some people take them to heart and end up beating themselves over it. Some people don't end up reading hate speech and being okay.

Do not be the reason or be involved with the reason someone ends their life.

Do not be the reason or be involved with the reason someone harms themselves.

We need more love and less hate.

"Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything."

1 Peter 4:8

Thinking Out Loud: Why Are Feminine Products a Luxury?

On my way to the till at my local grocery store, here in London, I happened to pass by the pads and tampons and couldn't help, but notice their prices and come to the realisation that it is not just that they have not been properly spread round the globe, but that they are actually a luxury!
£3 for a pack of pads?!

I had never really paid attention to the prices of the feminine products I purchased, but on that day, I compared the prices I saw to those of the groceries I had in my trolley.

I could have bought three 1litre bottles of juice (not from concentrate) for the price of one pack of pads. I could have bought 4 cans of coconut milk for the price of one pack of pads, I could have bought three bags of rice, 4 bags of pasta, et cetera, for the price of one pack of pads. Wow!

Buying a bottle of non-concentrate juice is a luxury let alone three litres of it. I am just as comfortable without a bottle of juice as I am with a bottle of juice, but I will never be as comfortable without the feminine products I require as I am with them.

Why make some women have to save money in order to be able to afford to take care of their families and to afford feminine products. Why not make the feminine products more affordable?

Why make women be subject to embarrassment due to getting preventable blood stains on their clothes instead of making the tools to prevent these stains more accessible to them?

Why make women have to opt for unhygienic things or things that would lead to others making a mockery of them in order to prevent stains instead of making better things more accessible?

Why make women and girls spend weeks that they could be getting an education at home waiting for their periods to end in order to return to school?

A period, the menstrual cycle or whatever you choose to call it is a natural process, it WILL happen. The only way to stop it is to tamper with your hormones in order to reduce your fertility or to go crazy and have multiple children till you reach menopause. What is better for women? What is better for our economy? What is better for our community?

Feminine products are not a luxury, they are a necessity for the health and well-being of every woman for most of their lives.